This week I started classes once more. Let me tell you, I was anxious, and insecure as soon as the week started. I get like that every first week of the semester. I do this thing where I doubt myself. I was convinced I wasn’t going to be able to handle the work.
How did I come out of that mindset? Well after a day or two of being in=mmersed in this insecurity, I realized enough is enough. What has self doubt ever done for me? It has made me fail exams, forget important material and become shy among my peers.
The reality is, I don’t want to face the consequences of doubting myself. I came home one day this week and closed my eyes and imagined winning that race. The finish line is seeing a passing grade next to the name of my classes. The finish line is walking across a stage and receiving my diploma.
I always say live in the present but sometimes gazing into the future can do wonders. I may not be the smartest, the prettiest, the most outgoing but hey, I have a passion for getting things done. I have the drive to succeed.
My semester may be difficult with all the exams, essays, readings etc. but one thing I will not do is doubt my abilities. This is a realization I make every semester. Every semester I remind myself that I am capable, I am ready and I am one day going to finish off strong.
Good morning everyone.
I haven’t written on my blog for the past two days. I’ve just been extremely tired. I would come home and immediately fall asleep. At one point I asked myself, “is this life? No energy, no fun, just work.” I was fed up because my body was so drained.
I went to the doctors and got some blood work done to make sure my health is good. I get those back in a week.
This Halloween I didn’t get to do anything because I spent it at the doctor’s appointment and I had class the next day. The most I did was eat candy that my sister brought home and my dad as well.
The real fun for me was the day after Halloween. Two of my friends and I went to a restaurant called Joya.
It was amazing. Catching up with my girls and not stressing over school was a good feeling. We usually hang out on my college campus where we feel stressed and rushed. Last night we just decided to get dressed up and enjoy a nice meal.
This was my meal. I loved it. I got too full quickly so I had to take the rest home. They make their white rice and shrimp perfectly. The garlic sauce was amazing as well. It is located in Brooklyn New York.
The best part about last night is realizing how I have such great friends. Seeing them last night reminded me not to stress. I will graduate and I will get that diploma. No matter how many sleepless nights or days of my body being exhausted, I have to get through this semester.
I just have to make sure I do fun things with my friends in between 🙂.
Enjoy your day butterflies!
Remember, when stressed, come out of that routine for at least a day. Reality is and will always be more than just stress.
Today has been super stressful. Well, actually this whole week has been stressful for me. Midterms, complicated statistics homework, and a presentation.
I got them over with but I can’t help but beat myself up over them.
I realized after the presentation, my first thoughts were, “I did badly.” “I repeated my self a lot.” “I stuttered.” “I was shaking the whole time.”
After my midterm, my first thoughts were, “I failed.”
After submitting my math homework I thought, “I’m getting a bad grade on this.”
I understood today that I am being super negative with myself. Why is that?
Why do we human beings tend to dwell so much on the negative? Our automatic thoughts are a lot of the times self-destructive.
I realized it’s how I combat those thoughts that will help me be able to sleep peacefully tonight. I have to stop and for every negative thought come up with a positive one.
This post is a reminder to myself and those out there under stress, We are doing our best.
As long as we try and learn from our mistakes, life will get better. Things get better.
That’s what I will tell myself, a bad grade or not, I tried my best.