Something new

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I have been wanting to do something new.

Maybe to feel a spark in me again, to feel like life is more than just a routine.

I got a piercing for the first time on my nose.

I wanted to feel young.

I am young but sometimes life makes me feel old.

Old in the sense that I don’t have fun as much as I should.

It’s hard to stop and breath while chasing dreams.

It’s hard to stop and breath when the world around you needs you to make it proud.

Sometimes I hold my breath and dive into things I don’t expect I’d do, so I can feel alive again.

Today was great, got a piercing.

Today was great, didn’t do homework.

Didn’t do work.

Today I just focused on having a little fun again.

Why can’t we chase our dreams while dancing and twirling along the way?

The only person stopping us from that is our own selves.

Advice from a butterfly

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Don’t settle she said.

Be who you want to be.

Fly like a butterfly and show those bright wings.

Don’t hide in the darkness she said.

Ask the world for advice but teach yourself all about life.

Fly near the sun.

Let the heat bring you to life.

Defrost the coldness trapped in the heart.

Fly near danger but learn to adapt.

To survive.

To be free from birth to the end.

In life, don’t settle.

Dream.

Fly.

Open your wings and keep them open until the day you die…

Scared of the world

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I don’t say a lot of what I feel.

Probably out of fear that no one would understand.

I dream big.

I have hope.

But something is always missing.

I wish for peace within me and this world.

To be accepted as who I am.

But only God knows I am the only person who needs to accept myself.

I carry my heart on my shoulder.

It’s visible to the world.

I don’t say a lot of what I feel.

In a way, I am just scared of the world…

Pull it together

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My heart has been broken many times.

I’ve broken it myself and people have tossed it around like a rotten tomato.

I have come to the conclusion that no matter what, I have to protect my heart from further damage.

Can’t love someone who doesn’t love me back.

Can’t do things that will backfire on me.

I simply cannot keep hurting my soul.

Like a lost child, I thought my heart was a lost cause.

So often I felt real pain in my chest when I got too sad.

Sadness is a pain that no one should feel.

My heart has been broken, beaten, burned and stepped on.

I’ve cried enough.

I’ve grown too much, it’s up to me to not be the victim any longer.

Broken heart, listen to me, I will fix you.

I will heal you.

It’s up to me to pull together this aching heart…

Rebooting Brain

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My thoughts linger around like the lights resonating from my snow globe. I wonder what its like to run three thousand miles deep in the sun. Far from the glowing thoughts.

The world twinkles, and rumbles a little too loud for me somedays. All I want to do is accomplish something but my creativity has its days. Somedays its hard to write a page, other days I can write 52 pages in one sitting.

Distractibility is my weakness when my mind is rewinding. Sometimes my mind is on hyper speed, somedays it takes forever to reboot.

I have batteries, they run out somedays. I have to change them to feel alive again.

My brain is twisted and turned around. All I need is a little sleep, a little energy, a little bit of a high to make me feel accomplished again.

My thoughts linger…

Sometimes, I write things that just simply don’t make sense…

Poetry from a rebooting brain isn’t meant to make sense but what work of art ever makes complete sense anyway?