Involuntary Journey

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Anxiety grabs me by my feet and takes me on this involuntary journey.

I didn’t sign up for the ride but my body decided its time for it.

I feel cold and sweaty.

My teeth chatter as if I were on snowy land, high up on a mountain.

Deep breaths they say, deep breaths.

But how can I take deep breaths when all I feel is breathless.

I hold my tongue and try not to curse my own mind.

Anxiety riddled me, trapped me and took me on this ride.

Once it’s over, I feel alive again.

I feel in control of life when it’s over.

But here and there I get that fear that I will once again be forced on this journey.

Anxiety, the involuntary rollercoaster ride.

Not a Race

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Photo by Una Mariposa

Hello Everyone,

Today I decided to make a blog post about a topic very dear to me and that is self discovery. It took me a long time to discover who I am and what it is that I want in life. I realized, who I am is more than just a category, a label and a person. I am simply me. I am the woman I’ve learned to love over the years.

I used to battle with distinguishing who I was in a world of so many personalities. I have always been the quiet one, the shy one, the one that hid. Now at 22 years old, I’ve grown out of that shell. I learned that who I am is a ever lasting process.

My heart will never change but as I experience more things, the components of me may. I want to let those who read my blog and those who are new to my page know that if you feel lost, you will find yourself.

Self discovery is a process. It is made up of stages where you have moments of growth, setbacks and excitement. I stopped looking at life as a race and the beauty in that is that I have so much more energy to get my work done.

Rushing through life stops us from taking in the pure fresh air of existence. Life is a journey, if you feel lost, you will know where you belong one day. If you feel lost, you will find yourself.

This is a journey, not a race.

Have a beautiful day my butterflies.

Journey

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Photo provided by Pexels

An interesting journey I have been on this year was just finding myself on a deeper level. I had to find out what I really wanted in life, beyond the typical goals. I needed to find what brought sparks into my bloodstream and bones.

Sure, I want to graduate college, I want to find love, I want to move out, those are regular goals. Have you ever achieved a spiritual goal? Those are the best.

Spiritually, and mentally, I wanted to heal within. I wanted to find peace, connect with the world within me, not outside of me.

My mind has been a place I’d throw the worst of the worst in. Didn’t know that with a couple minutes of closing my eyes and saying what makes me grateful could change my whole day.

I realized all this sorrow, all the pain, all the endless turmoil I myself create, was not what life wants to teach me.

Life wants to teach me to simply live. If I keep living in the past, I am not living. If I keep dwelling on my anger, I am not living.

Life is here and now. Life is this moment as I write this. Spiritually, emotionally, and mentally I am growing and healing. It’s a journey I haven’t finished yet, but it’s a goal.

It is a goal I’ve never felt more content pursuing.

Like a cloud

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The world may seem like a dark shark infested system.

The sky is unreachable and untenable.

Dreams hang from the tears of desperate young souls who long for success.

It may seem like the world has many dead ends.

If you open your eyes and stare directly at the clouds, you’ll be able to catch your breath.

As the clouds roam the sky that we cannot touch, you are reminded that life is slower than we think.

We rush through everything because that’s how society has survived.

Run for the train, fast-paced jobs, and extreme anxiety keeps us on the edge.

But as you look in the sky, the slowness of the clouds drifting slows your mind a little, doesn’t it?

See, like the clouds we have the power to slow down.

To slower our heart rate by just closing our eyes and imagining that we already reached success.

Sometimes patience is all we need.

Don’t go in desperation for your dreams because life has a funny way of just pushing them farther.

If you do it slow but steady, you will reach them with a calmness in your soul that will prepare you for what you just obtained.

We are not sharks.

We are souls trapped in bodies.

Souls that long for success.

Souls that just like clouds, need to enjoy life with patience and steadiness.

A cloud makes it all over the world, in the slowest fashion but it has reached farther territory than any fast-paced bird.