When I was 9 my little sister was born. I vowed from the first day she came home that I would protect her from the world.
I already at the age of 9 knew the evils in this world and I wanted to make sure she never experienced anything bad.
I carried her and felt my world feel complete for a second. This new baby in my arms was going to be my new best friend.
I protected her as if she were my own. I made sure she was content. I would tell my mom to take good care of her while I was at school.
As my sister got older, she was still the best thing to happen to me. I would watch movies with her, I would teach her words and be her guide in many aspects of life.
Being almost a decade older than her meant I had almost 10 more years of experience in this world.
But then came my teenage years. I was no longer that sister I wanted her to see. I changed. I was not the best version of myself.
I made a lot of mistakes. I scared the living hell out of my family multiple times. I could’ve lost my life at times. I could’ve been the sister she never would see again.
I thought I failed her.
Recently she told me something I’ll never forget. Now at 13 years old, she’s taller than me. She is intelligent, girly, a role model at her school. I fear she’ll end up like me once I entered high school. Don’t want her to lose her best qualities in a world of hormones and depression.
Recently she told me, “I hope to be just like you.” I was shocked. Why would anyone want to be like me? I made so many mistakes. I am not the best at dealing with life’s hurdles. She said, “All my siblings are in college. You are smart. My sisters are doing great things. I love telling my friends that you guys are in college.”
She made me realize, she loves her sister no matter what. I realized, Yes I might’ve been a bad influence at one point but look at me now. In college, and working hard. I realized, a child doesn’t see the flaws behind a face that they love. A child will always find that silver lining in you.
So, yes the past will mark you but it will never ever determine your future.
To my sister, if you ever read this blog. Thank you. Thank you for reminding me I can do this and I have two pairs of eyes learning from me. I won’t let you down.
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I love October, November, and December.
I have so many memories associated with those months.
My first Halloween party was in preschool and guess what my mother dressed me up as.
I had the feathers and the chicken head.
I looked like a miniature big bird.
My mother says I picked that costume out.
That story always makes me laugh.
I threw up in my costume that day because I ate too much candy of course.
Even as a child I was prone to make my whole class stare at me.
I didn’t care though.
All that mattered was the candy I was bringing home.
That didn’t matter, I love when she tells me that story because It takes me back to a time where all I cared about in life was dressing up and candy.
November is great for me because when I was a child in school we would have Thanksgiving meals.
The parents would cook for us and we would have a smorgasbord of multicultural meals.
I would eat so much.
My mother on Thanksgiving would cook for us a Dominican styled meal.
The pernil, the Arroz de moro, the potato salad, and the list just keeps going.
Takes me back to a simpler time, when the family was united and the world wasn’t lost, at least for me at that time.
Christmas, oh boy.
I loved it because my family would get together, adults would drink some wine.
Us kids would drink juice, soda, and have lots of food.
The table would look beautiful with that big Dominican meal.
I would play holiday music all day long.
They had the holiday movie specials on t.v.
These are memories I will never forget.
These months bring memories to me that I adore.
This is a time in which the world stops being cynical and becomes innocent.
For the next three months, I’ll be a child in an adults body.
An adult looking through the lens of innocence…