Take a Deep Breath

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silhouette of man during nighttime

Photo by brenoanp on Pexels.com

Ever feel like life has become too much? Ever feel if like the world is squishing you, turning you into a tiny particle of dust?

I know I’ve reached days where I had a weight on my shoulder. Every single obstacle in my way accumulated on my shoulder. As I felt the tears fall down my face during those times, I thought when would the stress end.

Months later I realized, emotional pain sucks but it won’t last forever. Life can only get better. Only things that can get worse are obstacles but if you fight hard, they will die. You will live. Live to see that things do get better.

When I was a little girl, the world wasn’t as bright as it is now. See, I had obstacles from

a young age. As I aged, they only kept getting more intense until one day I vowed to only make life get better.

I made it out of the past and now all I have is the present. Now all I have is this moment. I choose to smile even when life gets rough because a smile heals the soul sometimes. When you grin or laugh, it’s like seeing beautiful butterflies in front of your face. For a second I forget what it feels like to frown as I hold that smile.

The present is all that matters because any day life can end. Why live in the past? Why obsess over the future? Right now, and I mean this exact moment you are alive and able to embrace the people around you.

Enjoy life while you can. Smile, laugh, and remember that the present is all that matters. Take a deep breath right now, close your eyes and thank destiny for making you the unique individual you are today.

No Such Thing as Perfect

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Hello my butterflies 🦋

I am going to let you guys in on a little secret. Sometimes the happiest looking people are deep down not as happy as they seem.

I say this because I am a prime example of this. I am always smiling and joking. I am the first person to ask how somebody else is doing but not ask myself why I feel down. I am the person who will push my emotions aside to be there for the people I love.

I may seem like I have my world in order. I may seem like I know what I am doing but I am just as lost in this world as any other.

I have my days where life takes a toll on me and I am stuck trying not to drown. Let me tell you something, the 20’s aren’t how I thought they would be. No, it’s not about partying and relationships. In my 20’s I feel this pressure to be on the right path so in my 30’s I have the goals I am trying to reach.

There’s lots of stress associated with educational responsibilities, family responsibilities, and overall just living life.

The whole point to writing this is to say, no I am not perfect. No one is. I may always be smiling and joking around but somedays I am walking a tightrope as well. Balancing in life is hard. Reaching the other end of that rope is hard.

Although life is hard. I made a vow to myself that I will get through my 20’s with my imperfections. I will make it.

Ups, downs, mistakes, you name it. I will own them and I will graduate college and be who I aspire to be.

Remember you can be imperfect and reach a life so perfect you’ll believe imperfect is the new perfect.

From toxic to free

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Good morning guys!

Yesterday I asked my followers on my personal Instagram what I should write about next. One good friend of mine suggested I write about being in a toxic relationship and making the decision to be on your own and letting that person go.

I’ve touched on this subject before in my older posts but didn’t go in depth. I have experienced this. Precisely when I was graduating high school. It was my first serious relationship.

Everything, of course, seems perfect in the beginning but as time continued we were just really toxic for each other. The arguing and the control this person had over me was unbearable. I stayed for a long time in this relationship because I didn’t want to be on my “own.”

I feared to be lonely. The messed up thing about being in a toxic relationship is that losing your friends sometimes happens. So not only was this person my only “friend,” but I also was just so emotionally drained from the arguing that making friendships was the last thing on my mind.

Listen, guys, letting that person go may be painful at first. May feel like your world is crashing down on you. You may be fearing to feel lonely. But the truth is, sometimes what we miss once we break up is the routine we got accustomed to with that person, not the actual person. You will miss having someone to constantly text, or their family or just having company. But trust me, you will be able to breathe once you feel free in your own company. Learn to be alone. To do things alone. Build a routine without them.

We overlook how healthy it is to be alone sometimes. It’s a great time to find ourselves. Learn from that toxic relationship so you know what you want next in a future relationship.

Each relationship we’re In teaches us something about ourselves and about what is important to us in a relationship.

You may be lonely for a little. Once that person is gone, you will start making friends again. You will be back to embracing your hobbies and most importantly taking care of your soul and heart.

Unhealthy relationships aren’t good for our mental well being.

If you are contemplating ending a toxic relationship, it’s going to be hard but you have to do what’s best for you.

We only have one life. Do not spend it trying to please someone who only gives you headaches, or controls your ability to live this life the best way possible.

Take it from me, being happy after a break up is possible and true. I am in the best place in life right now. I let that person go and honestly, best decision I ever made.

Now I have great friends, can focus on my career and on me. You can have that too.

Bridges

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Sometimes in life, we have to cross bridges, build bridges and destroy a couple bridges. It’s painful to destroy a couple of them because we can’t no longer reach that thing that hurts us but gives us so much comfort at the same time.

Burning bridges takes a lot of strength, a lot of heartaches. It’s a process that feels like it’s breaking us with it. But this is necessary.

Once you destroy that bridge, you can build a new one. A bigger, brighter one. Create a scenery of flowers and flowing water around it. Let it lead you to a brighter and bigger future.

Some bridges fall, but only the ones we really need stay put. Just look around. Do you like what you see around that bridge you are walking on?

😊🦋

Anxiety

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Good morning all!

As usual, I started my day super early, even though it’s my day off from school and work. I can never sleep in. Most of my energy takes place in the morning so I get things done first thing in the morning.

This week has been a whirlwind. I have had several people trying to get me to hang out with them but I simply just want to stay home. The main reason is that I get anxiety about going outside.

I am like a bird, happy in my nest but once its time to flap my wings I am terrified. My anxiety has been getting intense lately. Physically I am experiencing a lot more symptoms. The worst one is the heavy breathing and the shaky feeling inside of me. I feel as if something within me is crumbling, being destroyed. The world shakes within me.

I know exposure is what can day by day calm this anxiety in me, so I go out to school, take the bus and yesterday I went out and did some errands. Yes, it felt horrible inside but I got it done. I also realized that after a while of walking outside and realizing I am okay that anxiety calms down a little.

I have my guardian angel protecting me anyways. For those new to my blog, my grandmother who passed away is in my mind my guardian angel.

I shared this with you guys in case any of you are dealing with anxiety. Look out for the physical effects anxiety have on your body. Also try to get a little exposure to what causes you anxiety, slowly of course. Don’t just jump right into it and if you guys can, a therapist will help a lot with this gradual exposure.

Here are some things I realized about anxiety that may be helpful,

  1. Anxiety can cause physical effects. Sweating, pain, nauseousness, rapid heart rate and so much more. I know it only makes the anxiety in our minds worse but they will subside once you focus on what’s going on in the mind. What I do is focus on my breathing instead of the repetitive negative thoughts.
  2. Exposure is a must. It helps to show your repetitive thoughts that they are wrong. My repetitive negative thoughts of going outside are that no one is good and everything’s dangerous outside. By going outside I have bumped into really sweet and kind people. I have also seen I have made it home safely every single time. This enforces more and more that my thoughts are not as right as I thought they were.
  3. Take it day by day. Expose yourself to what causes anxiety slowly and lastly, if it’s too much to deal with to the point that it affects your functioning in life, therapy is a great thing to think about. A good therapist and support system will help reshape these negative thoughts with positive ones slowly but surely.

Have a beautiful day my butterflies and don’t forget, anxiety can’t destroy us but we can destroy it.

Here’s a song I enjoy and maybe you guys will like it too.