To the Past who Believed in me

silhouette photo of trees

Photo by Jonathan Aman on Pexels.com

Trees, clouds, and open terrain.

My life was complete with you holding my hand.

When I cried, there you were to open my eyes and show me the world wasn’t as bad.

Sunshine, love and summer breeze.

There you played with my hair under a big old tree.

Summer, love and palm trees.

My head spun as we skated down the street.

My younger years were with you by my side.

All I hope now is that where ever you are, whoever you are with, you would never lose your worth.

Hugs, love, teenage dreams.

May you believe in yourself always, the way you believed in me…

Speak

I started seeing the world a little brighter when I realized I have a voice.

A voice that is unique, important and lovable.

I thought for a long time that my opinions didn’t matter. Never stood up for myself.

I let the world walk all over me if like I didn’t exist.

When you don’t give yourself a place amongst others, it’s just as bad as disappearing into a cloud of mist.

If you don’t scream, voice, yell, tell, ask, speak, everything will just be silence.

I didn’t want to live in silence anymore.

I was living in my own thoughts, wondering why I couldn’t voice what the world needed to know.

I lived in a world where I just never defended myself.

When I spoke and decided to be me. To stand up for myself, to put me in a place higher than before… the world made sense.

I am not someone who can be walked on.

I don’t have to walk on eggshells.

I am me.

A beautiful, loving, curly-haired human being.

And if I must yell, ask, tell, scream, converse, speak, I will.

My voice matters and so does yours…

Running Soul

When I sleep my spirit dances outside of my body.

The wind grabs my spirit and drags it out of the flesh where it’s been caged in.

My soul walks through the apartment and everything is dark.

The only thing on is the t.v in my living room.

No one is home, just my soul and my body that is laying on the bed.

My soul hears the spirits who never made it back in their flesh.

Scared to end up like them, my soul runs and jumps back in my body.

I wake up and wonder if I was dead last night.

If I entered a realm different from my own.

Lucid dreaming.

A state of running from the lost souls.

Life of a student

The life of a student.

It is when attendance matters so you walk to class in snow or rain.

It is where you learn to balance friends with work.

Where you balance money and education.

Where balancing responsibilities with desires go in hand.

The life of a student.

Determination will get you through it.

One day when you get that diploma, it will all be worth it.

Oh, how I love the life of a student.

Bless You Future

Things don’t go how I went them too and I freak out.

I start thinking it’s not fixable.

When I was a little girl, I thought the sad feeling in me was not fixable.

I thought I was destined to feel sad and be bullied.

I thought I was destined to be lonely.

Years ago I never knew I’ll still be holding up.

That I’ll still be working hard to make my mother proud.

Things get better I learned. Things feel better. Things make sense the older you get.

When I was a teenager I made some mistakes.

Thought I would live a life of turmoil and pain.

Here I am, years later, making mistakes still but learning from them.

Looking at the past as a guideline for what I want to leave behind.

Also what I want to bring with me into the future.

I learned from my childhood and teen self that the present isn’t easy, but the future is an escape I wouldn’t want to miss out on.

Goodbye past, hello present, bless you future.