I Can, I am, I Will

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I have had several years of wondering will I make it? Will I graduate? Will I get out of this toxic relationship? Will I find myself and love myself? Endless questions that sooner or later I answer. The answer is almost always, “yes.”

Now I know that when I ask myself will I, I know deep inside the “will I” becomes I do, I am or I can. It’s faith. Faith because I’ve learned everything eventually falls into place. My favorite thing about who I am now in life is that I don’t question my abilities.

I used to say, “I am not capable.” I’ve heard people tell me, “You are not capable.” I’ve heard people tell me, “You can’t do that.” I constantly prove people wrong, not for them but for me. The worst person to say, “You can’t do this,” is not them, it’s you.

What we tell ourselves is way more toxic than what others tell us sometimes. Have you ever looked in the mirror and said, “I am ugly,” “I am not worthy.” It can kill the way you feel each time you see your reflection.

Turn will I, into I will, I do, I am. Keep the faith that things will fall into place. Years later, my life feels like its falling into place. Years later I know I am unbreakable.

Love yourself, believe in yourself.

Simply look in the mirror and say, “I can.”

(Thank you guys for reading this post. I am currently collecting answers for my survey, its for one of my college courses. If you can please fill it out and submit)

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfm7EM-gATEj-VXTiJc0VeHfiSSBMjYMubkEGCdY1Sx56jxRQ/viewform?usp=sf_link

Thank you!

Another Semester

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This week I started classes once more. Let me tell you, I was anxious, and insecure as soon as the week started. I get like that every first week of the semester. I do this thing where I doubt myself. I was convinced I wasn’t going to be able to handle the work.

How did I come out of that mindset? Well after a day or two of being in=mmersed in this insecurity, I realized enough is enough. What has self doubt ever done for me? It has made me fail exams, forget important material and become shy among my peers.

The reality is, I don’t want to face the consequences of doubting myself. I came home one day this week and closed my eyes and imagined winning that race. The finish line is seeing a passing grade next to the name of my classes. The finish line is walking across a stage and receiving my diploma.

I always say live in the present but sometimes gazing into the future can do wonders. I may not be the smartest, the prettiest, the most outgoing but hey, I have a passion for getting things done. I have the drive to succeed.

My semester may be difficult with all the exams, essays, readings etc. but one thing I will not do is doubt my abilities. This is a realization I make every semester. Every semester I remind myself that I am capable, I am ready and I am one day going to finish off strong.

Not a Race

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Photo by Una Mariposa

Hello Everyone,

Today I decided to make a blog post about a topic very dear to me and that is self discovery. It took me a long time to discover who I am and what it is that I want in life. I realized, who I am is more than just a category, a label and a person. I am simply me. I am the woman I’ve learned to love over the years.

I used to battle with distinguishing who I was in a world of so many personalities. I have always been the quiet one, the shy one, the one that hid. Now at 22 years old, I’ve grown out of that shell. I learned that who I am is a ever lasting process.

My heart will never change but as I experience more things, the components of me may. I want to let those who read my blog and those who are new to my page know that if you feel lost, you will find yourself.

Self discovery is a process. It is made up of stages where you have moments of growth, setbacks and excitement. I stopped looking at life as a race and the beauty in that is that I have so much more energy to get my work done.

Rushing through life stops us from taking in the pure fresh air of existence. Life is a journey, if you feel lost, you will know where you belong one day. If you feel lost, you will find yourself.

This is a journey, not a race.

Have a beautiful day my butterflies.

Manifest

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Thinking you are not good enough is like falling down a big black hole. The more you think you are below others, the more you will end up being it.

What we say to ourselves and into the universe, we manifest. When you spend the day cursing life away, you are cursing your own self.

A wise person once told me, what you say, you bring to life. We have two choices in life, to see the world in a negative light, or with positivity.

What we chose to open our eyes with, defines how our day will go.

It took me a while, but I learned that open eyes looking into the future glow with a unique light. Always open your eyes to the better, to the bold, to the beauty we hold.

Manifest what you want, not what you hate. Manifest the beauty behind our closed eyes. Beauty hides in the most positive visions we have…

No Such Thing as Perfect

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Hello my butterflies 🦋

I am going to let you guys in on a little secret. Sometimes the happiest looking people are deep down not as happy as they seem.

I say this because I am a prime example of this. I am always smiling and joking. I am the first person to ask how somebody else is doing but not ask myself why I feel down. I am the person who will push my emotions aside to be there for the people I love.

I may seem like I have my world in order. I may seem like I know what I am doing but I am just as lost in this world as any other.

I have my days where life takes a toll on me and I am stuck trying not to drown. Let me tell you something, the 20’s aren’t how I thought they would be. No, it’s not about partying and relationships. In my 20’s I feel this pressure to be on the right path so in my 30’s I have the goals I am trying to reach.

There’s lots of stress associated with educational responsibilities, family responsibilities, and overall just living life.

The whole point to writing this is to say, no I am not perfect. No one is. I may always be smiling and joking around but somedays I am walking a tightrope as well. Balancing in life is hard. Reaching the other end of that rope is hard.

Although life is hard. I made a vow to myself that I will get through my 20’s with my imperfections. I will make it.

Ups, downs, mistakes, you name it. I will own them and I will graduate college and be who I aspire to be.

Remember you can be imperfect and reach a life so perfect you’ll believe imperfect is the new perfect.