No Such Thing as Perfect

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Hello my butterflies 🦋

I am going to let you guys in on a little secret. Sometimes the happiest looking people are deep down not as happy as they seem.

I say this because I am a prime example of this. I am always smiling and joking. I am the first person to ask how somebody else is doing but not ask myself why I feel down. I am the person who will push my emotions aside to be there for the people I love.

I may seem like I have my world in order. I may seem like I know what I am doing but I am just as lost in this world as any other.

I have my days where life takes a toll on me and I am stuck trying not to drown. Let me tell you something, the 20’s aren’t how I thought they would be. No, it’s not about partying and relationships. In my 20’s I feel this pressure to be on the right path so in my 30’s I have the goals I am trying to reach.

There’s lots of stress associated with educational responsibilities, family responsibilities, and overall just living life.

The whole point to writing this is to say, no I am not perfect. No one is. I may always be smiling and joking around but somedays I am walking a tightrope as well. Balancing in life is hard. Reaching the other end of that rope is hard.

Although life is hard. I made a vow to myself that I will get through my 20’s with my imperfections. I will make it.

Ups, downs, mistakes, you name it. I will own them and I will graduate college and be who I aspire to be.

Remember you can be imperfect and reach a life so perfect you’ll believe imperfect is the new perfect.

Friday Fun

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Good morning everyone.

I haven’t written on my blog for the past two days. I’ve just been extremely tired. I would come home and immediately fall asleep. At one point I asked myself, “is this life? No energy, no fun, just work.” I was fed up because my body was so drained.

I went to the doctors and got some blood work done to make sure my health is good. I get those back in a week.

This Halloween I didn’t get to do anything because I spent it at the doctor’s appointment and I had class the next day. The most I did was eat candy that my sister brought home and my dad as well.

The real fun for me was the day after Halloween. Two of my friends and I went to a restaurant called Joya.

It was amazing. Catching up with my girls and not stressing over school was a good feeling. We usually hang out on my college campus where we feel stressed and rushed. Last night we just decided to get dressed up and enjoy a nice meal.

This was my meal. I loved it. I got too full quickly so I had to take the rest home. They make their white rice and shrimp perfectly. The garlic sauce was amazing as well. It is located in Brooklyn New York.

The best part about last night is realizing how I have such great friends. Seeing them last night reminded me not to stress. I will graduate and I will get that diploma. No matter how many sleepless nights or days of my body being exhausted, I have to get through this semester.

I just have to make sure I do fun things with my friends in between 🙂.

Enjoy your day butterflies!

Remember, when stressed, come out of that routine for at least a day. Reality is and will always be more than just stress.

Beautiful in our own way

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I used to think the only way I could be beautiful was by being the “ideal” woman. I thought having a small waist, and a goddess like body was ideal.

I thought I’d be less lonely, less insecure and less empty with that ideal body. Got tired of the crash diets, and crying when I looked in the mirror. These few women that society glorifies have this image that the majority of women just don’t pertain to.

Us women come in different shapes and sizes. We are all made of different genes, different features, different beautiful skin tones.

What we see glorified on t.v and what society tells us we should look like is something we need to fight against.

We all come in different sizes and in different varieties. Us women make the world go round and if someone can’t accept your beauty in its unique form, then show them what they are messing with.

Be strong, be unapologetic.

This is a reminder to the world and myself that being a woman is much more than our bodies. It’s our brains, our smiles, our goals, our personalities, the list is infinite.

The “ideal” woman is every woman.

We are all ideal in our own beautiful way.

Las Mujeres Somos Fuerte

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Las mujeres somos fuerte

This is something my mother has said to me since I was a child. Since I was a little girl unaware of what women hood would bring, she would lift my little head up and say this phrase. To those who do not speak Spanish, it means “Us women are strong.”

I was unaware of what strength meant. To me when I pictured the word strong I pictured a person lifting a couch with their pinky’s. Lifting a building was also something I associated with the word strength.

When I thought of strength at the age of 7, I imagined it had to do with men. Men can lift things, they are bigger, they have “strength.”

My mother’s idea of strength was different and it shaped my childhood immensely. She said, “when a person deals with immense pain carrying a child and giving birth, that is a strength a man will never know.” She said, “strength can be emotional. Strength is in your heart.”

I have always been petite, so I liked this idea that I was strong within. I started living life this way. I envisioned my ability to cry and embrace my emotions as if it could punch a wall.

At times I’d be discouraged with life and feel weak, but my mom’s voice resigns in my head. “Las mujeres somos fuerte.” That phrase right there gave me the strength to get up and wipe my tears.

I’ve dated men who made me feel small but god how good it felt when I was strong enough to leave them or put myself first.

Strength is not just a ability in men. Strength is not always physical. Strength is tolerating the ups and downs of life and still loving living.

Strength is being able to embrace emotions. To stand up for yourself and show the world you are not less because of your sex.

I guess I wrote this because some days I forget what my mom said years ago before I could understand it, “Las mujeres somos fuerte.”

From toxic to free

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Good morning guys!

Yesterday I asked my followers on my personal Instagram what I should write about next. One good friend of mine suggested I write about being in a toxic relationship and making the decision to be on your own and letting that person go.

I’ve touched on this subject before in my older posts but didn’t go in depth. I have experienced this. Precisely when I was graduating high school. It was my first serious relationship.

Everything, of course, seems perfect in the beginning but as time continued we were just really toxic for each other. The arguing and the control this person had over me was unbearable. I stayed for a long time in this relationship because I didn’t want to be on my “own.”

I feared to be lonely. The messed up thing about being in a toxic relationship is that losing your friends sometimes happens. So not only was this person my only “friend,” but I also was just so emotionally drained from the arguing that making friendships was the last thing on my mind.

Listen, guys, letting that person go may be painful at first. May feel like your world is crashing down on you. You may be fearing to feel lonely. But the truth is, sometimes what we miss once we break up is the routine we got accustomed to with that person, not the actual person. You will miss having someone to constantly text, or their family or just having company. But trust me, you will be able to breathe once you feel free in your own company. Learn to be alone. To do things alone. Build a routine without them.

We overlook how healthy it is to be alone sometimes. It’s a great time to find ourselves. Learn from that toxic relationship so you know what you want next in a future relationship.

Each relationship we’re In teaches us something about ourselves and about what is important to us in a relationship.

You may be lonely for a little. Once that person is gone, you will start making friends again. You will be back to embracing your hobbies and most importantly taking care of your soul and heart.

Unhealthy relationships aren’t good for our mental well being.

If you are contemplating ending a toxic relationship, it’s going to be hard but you have to do what’s best for you.

We only have one life. Do not spend it trying to please someone who only gives you headaches, or controls your ability to live this life the best way possible.

Take it from me, being happy after a break up is possible and true. I am in the best place in life right now. I let that person go and honestly, best decision I ever made.

Now I have great friends, can focus on my career and on me. You can have that too.

Bridges

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Sometimes in life, we have to cross bridges, build bridges and destroy a couple bridges. It’s painful to destroy a couple of them because we can’t no longer reach that thing that hurts us but gives us so much comfort at the same time.

Burning bridges takes a lot of strength, a lot of heartaches. It’s a process that feels like it’s breaking us with it. But this is necessary.

Once you destroy that bridge, you can build a new one. A bigger, brighter one. Create a scenery of flowers and flowing water around it. Let it lead you to a brighter and bigger future.

Some bridges fall, but only the ones we really need stay put. Just look around. Do you like what you see around that bridge you are walking on?

😊🦋