Today I decided to make a blog post about a topic very dear to me and that is self discovery. It took me a long time to discover who I am and what it is that I want in life. I realized, who I am is more than just a category, a label and a person. I am simply me. I am the woman I’ve learned to love over the years.
I used to battle with distinguishing who I was in a world of so many personalities. I have always been the quiet one, the shy one, the one that hid. Now at 22 years old, I’ve grown out of that shell. I learned that who I am is a ever lasting process.
My heart will never change but as I experience more things, the components of me may. I want to let those who read my blog and those who are new to my page know that if you feel lost, you will find yourself.
Self discovery is a process. It is made up of stages where you have moments of growth, setbacks and excitement. I stopped looking at life as a race and the beauty in that is that I have so much more energy to get my work done.
Rushing through life stops us from taking in the pure fresh air of existence. Life is a journey, if you feel lost, you will know where you belong one day. If you feel lost, you will find yourself.
My thoughts linger around like the lights resonating from my snow globe. I wonder what its like to run three thousand miles deep in the sun. Far from the glowing thoughts.
The world twinkles, and rumbles a little too loud for me somedays. All I want to do is accomplish something but my creativity has its days. Somedays its hard to write a page, other days I can write 52 pages in one sitting.
Distractibility is my weakness when my mind is rewinding. Sometimes my mind is on hyper speed, somedays it takes forever to reboot.
I have batteries, they run out somedays. I have to change them to feel alive again.
My brain is twisted and turned around. All I need is a little sleep, a little energy, a little bit of a high to make me feel accomplished again.
My thoughts linger…
Sometimes, I write things that just simply don’t make sense…
Poetry from a rebooting brain isn’t meant to make sense but what work of art ever makes complete sense anyway?
An interesting journey I have been on this year was just finding myself on a deeper level. I had to find out what I really wanted in life, beyond the typical goals. I needed to find what brought sparks into my bloodstream and bones.
Sure, I want to graduate college, I want to find love, I want to move out, those are regular goals. Have you ever achieved a spiritual goal? Those are the best.
Spiritually, and mentally, I wanted to heal within. I wanted to find peace, connect with the world within me, not outside of me.
My mind has been a place I’d throw the worst of the worst in. Didn’t know that with a couple minutes of closing my eyes and saying what makes me grateful could change my whole day.
I realized all this sorrow, all the pain, all the endless turmoil I myself create, was not what life wants to teach me.
Life wants to teach me to simply live. If I keep living in the past, I am not living. If I keep dwelling on my anger, I am not living.
Life is here and now. Life is this moment as I write this. Spiritually, emotionally, and mentally I am growing and healing. It’s a journey I haven’t finished yet, but it’s a goal.
It is a goal I’ve never felt more content pursuing.