All I’ve Ever Wanted


All I’ve ever wanted was to be as adored as my brother.

To be as tough as my sisters and to be outgoing like my mother.

But I was the complete opposite of everyone.

I was shy, I was in a sense to others “weak.”

I was always the odd child and in a sense, I can still be the odd one to my parents.

I am odd because I act way more mature for my age.

I enjoy the music my grandparents would listen to.

I look for lyrical beauty in music.

Not a good beat, or a catchy phrase.

I am a thinker. I think about everything, everyone and every aspect of my day.

So I spend a lot of time daydreaming, in my head.

I have grown out of my shell quite a bit. But somedays I’ll admit, saying hello is a hassle.

My mind says go make a good impression but my mouth won’t open.

It’s as if the concrete has covered my lips and dried away.

All I’ve ever wanted was to be popular.

My sisters make friends like there is no tomorrow.

People fall in love with one of my sisters if like she were an enchantress.

But then I realize. A lot of people have fallen in love with me. For my beauty, my heart and my mind.

I realize I have friends.

They may not be a big group but they are my few valuable bunch who have been there for me for so many years.

Sometimes I want to be like my mother, my sisters, my brother, hey even my father who can make nothing into something.

But what would that leave of me if I was just an image of them?

There wouldn’t be a one and only Mariposa.

The woman who writes poetry and short stories like no other.

The one whose paintings come from the heart.

A woman who has a great few friends who love her.

The one who yes may be shy at times but has come out of her shell so much these past years that she should be proud.

A woman who blesses the house with her voice while she sings.

At first, all I ever wanted was to be like them.

But now I’ve realized all I’ve ever wanted was to be simply Me.